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雅思写作如何从6到6.5?

来源:朗阁教育19-04-22编辑:Catherine0人看过

都说“写作之难,难于上青天”,那么这蜀道之难到底难在哪里呢?很多考生在拿到总分7,单科不低于6的雅思分数时,依旧怀着冲下写作单科不低于6.5这样的愿望。

都说“写作之难,难于上青天”,那么这蜀道之难到底难在哪里呢?很多考生在拿到总分7,单科不低于6的雅思分数时,依旧怀着冲下写作单科不低于6.5这样的愿望。因为单科不低于6.5,才能可以冲一下一线名校啊。那写作6.5分到底是什么样的一个水平呢?从表象上看,是6分和7分的中间值,但实际上在朗阁海外考试中心的老师看来,6.5是7分的低配版,其难度还是远远高于6分的。这听起来好像很酷炫很难懂,但实际上你只要吃透雅思写作的评分标准,恍然大悟只在一瞬间。

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雅思写作的评分标准分为4项(TASK RESPONSE, COHERENCE AND COHESION, LEXICAL RESOURCES, GRAMMAR ACCURACY AND RANGE),各自给分之后,然后再求其平均分。例如4项中的两项达到7,两项是6分,平均值就是6.5分。值得注意的是,在每个评分标准各自给分的时候,并没有精确到0.5的这样一个选项,都是6,7分这样的整数。所以,如果烤鸭们想要拿到写作6.5分,重点需要参考的是6分和7分两项评分标准。在这篇文章中,朗阁海外考试中心的老师会带大家分别从4项评分标准看看如何达到6.5分。


1.任务回应(TASK RESPONSE)

顾名思义,任务回应意味着作文所给的任务你是否完成(是否扣题)。详细看来,6分和7分的具体要求。

Task Response 67

TASK 1lAddresses the requirements of the task l(academic) presents an overview with information appropriately selected l(general training) presents a purpose that is generally clear; there may be inconsistencies in tone lPresents and adequately highlights key features/bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccuratelCovers the requirements of the task l(academic) presents a clear overview of main trends, differences or stages l(general training) presents a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate lClearly presents and highlights key features/bullet points but could be more fully extended

TASK 2laddresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others  lpresents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive lpresents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclearladdresses all parts of the task lpresents a clear position throughout the response lpresents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus


对于TASK 1来说:

6分要求:根据写作任务要求作文;学术类要求烤鸭们选择恰当的信息进行概述;通用类要求写作目的基本清晰,行文语气有时未能保持前后一致;呈现并充分强调了主要内容/要点,但有时含有不相干不恰当或不准确的细节信息;7分要求:写作内容涵盖写作任务的要求;学术类清晰地呈现关于主要趋势、区别或不同阶段的概述;通用类清晰地呈现写作目的,行文语气一致且恰当;能救主要内容/要点进行清晰的呈现与强调,但未能更为充分的展开。

对于TASK 2来说:

6分要求:回应了各部分写作任务,但某些部分的论证可能比其他部分更为充分; 提出了一个切题的观点,尽管各种结论有时不甚清晰或重复; 提出了多个相关的主要论点,但某些论点可能未能充分展开进行论证或不甚清晰;7分要求:回应各部分写作任务;回应写作任务过程中始终呈现一个清晰的观点;呈现、发展主要论点并就其进行论证,但有时出现过于一概而论的倾向及/或论点缺乏重点的倾向。

简而言之,在这一项评分标准中,“扣题”是重点。Task 1中6分要求选择一些恰当信息,行文语气基本保持一致,可以容忍有偏差;7分则要求涉及更加详细的主要趋势、区别和各阶段变化的区别。Task 2中6分要求有观点,有主要论点,可以容忍部分论证不够清楚的地方;但是7分的要求更为严格一些,要求提出的论点论证要足够清晰。


此处,朗阁海外考试中心的老师以占总分2/3的Task 2带大家举例说明TASK RESPONSE在6分和7分作文中的不同体现。

e.g.  V20170930

In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of travelling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

很多烤鸭在看到这道题的时候惊呼,运气也太好了吧,经典话题办公地点的选择啊。于是有了所谓的大显身手:在家工作的好处是节约时间,因为花在上下班路上的时间可以被节约下来;在家工作还可以节约钱,因为对于公司来说,他们不必为高额的写字楼房租买单,而对于个人来说,花在交通上的钱也可以被节约下来用作其他的用途。 而在家工作也存在一些缺陷。例如虽然员工有了照顾家庭的机会,但是也会因此工作效率不是那么高。如果烤鸭们语言基础还不错,6分基本上是安全到手了。但是,如果在写作上想要获取更高分数的话,这样的思路显然是不现实的。这是因为,在advantages的讨论的时候,两个观点存在重复的地方。这个时候,你可能会反驳我,节约时间和节约钱并不重复啊,但是,你注意到了吗,这两点都基于同一个基础之上—在家办公减少了交通的使用。不妨考虑到多角度的论证:1. 在家办公的话,可以让员工能够很好地照顾他们的家人。特别是对于单亲家庭这样的家庭来说,尤为明显。单亲可以一边陪伴孩子,一边获得养家糊口的资本。2. 在家办公可以节约钱,因为对于公司来说,他们不必为高额的写字楼房租买单,而对于个人来说,花在交通上的钱也可以被节约下来用作其他的用途。 

除此之外,烤鸭们还要注意一个更重要的点,这一题中还有一个关键词千万不要忽略,就是the widespread use of internet,所以在描述在家办公的缺陷时,能否想到这样一点: 因为家庭网络相比于公司网络来看,安全系数会差一些。所以有可能会遭受黑客的侵袭,从而影响公司的利益。

所以,“花点时间审好题”很重要。毕竟,慢慢来,比较快。


2.连接与衔接(COHERENCE AND COHESION)

看到“连接与衔接”,很多烤鸭想到的是类似于because, so, therefore, however, but, nevertheless这样的逻辑连词或者副词,但实际上,文章的连接和衔接绝不仅仅在这些词的使用上。还是先看看官方对于这一点评分的描述吧:

Coherence and cohesion67

Task 1larranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression luses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical lmay not always use referencing clearly or appropriately  llogically organizes information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout  luses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use  

Task 2larranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression luses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical lmay not always use referencing clearly or appropriately;  luses paragraphing, but not always logically llogically organizes information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout  luses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use lpresents a clear central topic within each paragraph 


对于TASK 1来说:

6分要求烤鸭们能够连贯地组织信息和观点,总体来说,能清晰地推荐行文发展;有效地使用衔接首段,但句内及/或句间的衔接有时有误或者过于机械;有时无法保持一罐清晰或恰当地使用指代;7分要求烤鸭们符合逻辑地组织信息及观点,清晰的行文推进贯穿全文;恰当地使用一些列衔接手段,尽管有时使用不足或过多。

对于TASK 2来说:

评分标准基本与TASK 1保持一致,6分要求新加一点:使用段落写作,但未能保持段落间的逻辑;7分要求新加一点:每个段落均有一个清晰的中心主题。

撇去官方晦涩的语言,朗阁海外考试中心的老师给大家解读一下这一点评分所看重的就文章的衔接。当然这衔接体现在两个层次上,一个是段内和段与段之间的逻辑词的运用,美其名曰—形合;一个是段落之间意义上的衔接,也就是意合。其实形合好理解,就是该出现“尽管”、“然而”、“所以”的时候,补上逻辑词就可以了。但是,意合就没有那么容易了。为何你的文章是一个完整的passage,而不是几个separate paragraphs, 为何你的body是一个完整的paragraph,而不是一些零零散散的句子呢?这都和你的意义的衔接有关系。所以啊,文章body的段落应该紧扣开头和结尾段中所提到的观点来展开,而body段的具体内容又要根据body段的各自主题进行展开。


此处,朗阁海外考试中心的老师仍然以占总分2/3的Task 2带大家举例说明Coherence and Cohesion在作文中的完美体现。

e.g.

The society would benefit from the ban of all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging.

The flipside of advertising lies in the occasional occurrence of misleading and deceptive information, which will undermine the basic rights of consumers. Furthermore, the individuality of consumers is likely to fade away as the commercials endorsed by some celebrities will make consumers buy some similar products without considering their own needs. A good case in point is OPPO, a reputable brand of mobile phones in China. The manufacturer invites pop stars to stand for its brand, which triggers numerous youngsters, especially juveniles to follow them even though they might already have had their own phones

此段当中直截了当的给出了两个广告播放所带来的缺陷:一个是广告中包含误导性的或者是欺骗性的信息,一个是广告的播放会破坏消费者个性。从连接和衔接角度来看,两者都服务着同一个主题,广告的缺陷;而且两个观点之间又用一个连接词furthermore进行有效并列。

所以,一句话说来:写作千万条,逻辑第一条。衔接搞不定,出分两行泪。


3.词汇资源(LEXICAL RESOURCES)

词汇上得到高分一定曾是很多考生想要努力过的方向,那6分和7分的差距又在哪里呢?还是先祭出官方所给的评分标准吧。

Lexical Resources67

Task 1luses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task  lattempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy lmake some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication luses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision luses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation  lmay produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation 

Task 2luses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task lattempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy  lmakes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communicationluse a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision luses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation lmay produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation


对于TASK 1/2的要求几乎完全一致::

6分要求使用足够的词汇开展写作任务;试图使用不常用的词汇,但有时使用不准确;在拼写及/或构词方面有错误,但不影响交流;而7分的要求则更加严格一些:使用足够的词汇,体现一定灵活性及准确性;使用不常见词汇,对语体及搭配有一定认识;在选择用词、拼写及/或构词方面可能偶尔出现错误。

值得注意的是,评分标准一直强调的一点是,使用less common words,而不是complicated words.以占分比例较大的TASK 2为例,大作文的写作中的词汇主要由两类词构成,一种是话题词,一种是高频词。其实从短期积累来突破分数的层面上看,话题词的准备更有针对性,短期时间内get的可行性也会更高。


话题词:

例如,说到环境问题的时候,很多烤鸭们想到的是大气污染(air contamination),亦或是雾霾(smog)、河流污染(water pollution),那这类词就不算是less common words, 与此相比较的话,是不是可以挖掘更深一层次的环境问题,例如一次性塑料袋的滥用导致的白色污染(white pollutant resulting from the abuse of disposable plastic bags),雾霾中的有毒颗粒和人们的呼吸相关疾病之间的关系(the positive correlation between toxic particles encapsulated in smog and respiratory disease numerous people suffer from).

高频词:

高频词的储备当然覆盖范围广,不是特别好突破,这跟烤鸭们的基础储备相关性更大。此时,与其去背看上去的长的、难的替换词,不如用好小词。例如,讨论the widespread use of internet使办公地点从原先的公司扩大到home-base的时候,working at home到底有什么好处呢。很多烤鸭们会提到说在家办公的形式,员工们不再需要每天挤公交挤地铁上下班(With home-base work, employees have no need to take bus and metro to the company and back home)。很显然,Have no need to do sth.并不是一个漂亮的答案,中学水平的烤鸭们就可以很好的掌握这样的表达。此处,朗阁海外考试中心的老师给大家建议一个小词:free. Free我们更熟悉的是其形容词含义,表示自由的和免费的,其实free还可以做动词,表示解脱,释放,常用的短语是free sb from sth. 那么此处,是不是可以改写成:Home-base working frees ordinary employees from suffering the torture of daily commuting that is time-consuming and energy-exhausting.

简而言之,less common words并不等同于高不可攀的长难词汇,specific words和有趣的小词是短期时间内提分的捷径。


4.语法准确以及多样(GRAMMAR ACCURACY AND RANGE)

Grammar Accuracy and Range67

Task 1luses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms  lmakes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication luses a variety of complex structures lproduces frequent error-free sentences lhas good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors 

Task 2luses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms lmakes some errors in grammar and punctuation but they rarely reduce communication luses a variety of complex structures lproduces frequent error-free sentences  lhas good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors 


对于Task 1来说,

6分要求综合使用简单句式与复杂句式;在语法及标点符号方面有一些错误,但这些错误很少影响交流;7分要求运用各种复杂的语法结构;多数句子准确无误;对语法及标点符号掌握较好,但有时出现少许错误。

对于Task 2来说,

同样,与Task 1要求差异不大。

总结看来,整体要求就是句子要尽量多样,错误要少。换言之,并不是错误零容忍的,少量的错误仍然是可以接受的。什么叫句子多样呢,也就是要求烤鸭们在写作时不能全部用SV, SVO, SVP, SVOO这样的简单句,适当的难句更加分。那么问题来了,什么是难句,短期时间内如何提分呢?其实“难句”不难,只是相较于简单句来讲,会稍微复杂一点。在雅思写作中,使用频率较高的是复合句,非谓语动词之类的;而像虚拟语气之类的,不会真心问题不大。


同样以占比较高的TASK 2带大家来赏析一段范文:

V20180728 (2018年7月28日大作文原题) 

Some citizens who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

此处附上前雅思考官Simon给出的9分满分范文选段,并进行相关的语法分析。

In my opinion, teenagers are more likely to accept advice from some who can speak from experience(定语从句的使用). Reformed offenders (过去分词作定语)can tell young people how they became involved in crime(how 引导的宾语从句), the dangers of a criminal lifestyle, and what life in prison in really like(what 引导的宾语从句). They can also dispel any ideas that teenagers may have about criminals leading glamourous lives(定语从句). While adolescents are often indifferent to guidance given by older people, I imagine that most of them would be extremely keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender(while引导的让步状语从句). The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.


当然,有了以上4大评分标准的加持,烤鸭们对于各项评分在6,7分的体现应该有所了解。但值得注意的是,写作6.5分是6和7之间的均值,两个6,两个7,就可以达到写作6.5的成绩。到底哪两项获得7,哪两项获得6,其实考生们还是可以根据自己的实际情况来给定的。记忆力好,语言能力强的学生自然可以铆足了劲去提升LEXICAL RESOURCES & GRAMMAR ACCURACY AND RANGE, 想法多,逻辑好的学生们可以多关注TASK RESPONSE & COHERENCE AND COHESION。总之,适合你的才是最好的。


朗阁小编推荐:

雅思写作六大完美结尾

教师:解析突破雅思写作6分瓶颈要点

雅思写作介词短语的妙用

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